My heart is sad again this morning saying goodbye to my children as they are off to school once again. I find myself wanting to fill the time with doing things just to make it though the day, distracting me from the sadness.
However, I hear that still small voice in me saying to embrace my feelings, that it is ok to be sad that the sadness shows my intense love, affection and compassion for each of them. I am a good mom. This sadness does not need to be pushed away, it just needs to simply be recognized, identified, as what it really is, a mourning for the changing of seasons. It needs to be embraced, not shoved down.
My sadness isn’t because I am afraid, I know that my Papa is taking care of his beloved children. It isn’t because I find my identity in my children and I now feel lost with them gone, because I know who I am apart from the label of mom.
It’s simply a sadness for the ending of a season that I loved. I hope with eager anticipation that this new season will be even better because I have a Papa who loves me so, but that doesn’t make the letting go of what I loved exempt from the sadness.
Maybe you to find yourself in a season of letting go of something you dearly loved. Maybe God is calling you out and onward to what is next. I want you to know it’s ok to grieve that loss, it’s ok to allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. God is right there with you in those tears, holding you close. He loves your tender heart. We won’t be stuck in this place forever, as we process the letting go with our amazing trinity he births new hopes, dreams, and desires for the now.
Yesterday as I put my kiddos on the bus and watched them pull away and leave our home Papa let me see their guardian angels flying next to the bus with them. He opened my spiritual eyes and allowed me to see that He is always with them and that He is their greatest protector. He knew that would bring me much comfort and joy.
He granted me these beautiful children to love, shape, mold and speak life, truth, and love into and now its the season to send them out into the world to be the light to those he has already prepared for them to encounter this year.
I know that whoever that may be will be greatly blessed by their tender hearts, caring natures, and unconditional love. They are a joy and my prayer is that those who God has surrounded around them will have the eyes to see how special each of them are.