A few weeks back I was in a personal ministry appointment and my sweet friend brought to my attention that I use the word prideful and selfish a lot. It was coming out of the context where Daddy had told me that this is a season of just resting and receiving. He gave me a picture of me sitting on the couch with me feet up while others served me. Immediately, I though well this can’t be right that is just prideful, selfish. Why should others be serving me? I should be serving them. I couldn’t understand why that was what he was telling me this season in my life was suppose to look like, to simply rest and receive. Even after he showed me how I’ve sacrificed and served others my entire life and that this was a season to allow them the joy of serving me I couldn’t grasp it.
So, what do you do when He tells you something and you are having a hard time believing it? You ask Him to further persuade you (which is the very definition of Faith: divine persuasion). I’ve been seeking Daddy about what this means, what this looks like for me. I’ve asked him what His definition of Pride actually is and how it differs from my own. The fact that I don’t feel like I can just rest and receive from others was a big red flag and I wondered why. I was sensing that it was not just the definition of the word here that I struggled with but an underlying belief/lie at work. (This could also be called a stronghold because it was a false belief that I had about myself.) That belief, Daddy showed me, was that I wasn’t worthy enough to just receive. That I believed I had to give before I could receive, or it was prideful and selfish to simply receive. I mean who gets anything for free right? The very fact that he was asking me to just sit in this season and receive was something I couldn’t comprehend because of this wrong thinking.
He showed me that I had believed the lie that I needed to pay to play, to give to receive, to do to earn. This is pretty much the general rule of thumb in the natural world, however Praise God thanks to Jesus we don’t live in the natural world. We are seated with Him at the right hand of our father. We live in the supernatural. Daddy said to me, “Julie, I’ve already paid so you can play, I’ve given so you can receive, I’ve done so you can rest.” He showed me that under His definition it’s prideful to not receive. When I don’t allow myself to simply receive and I try to do to earn I’m cheapening His Grace. I’m saying to Him what You did wasn’t enough, I have to do more. To receive is accepting His offering by BELIEVING it was enough and resting in that reality that nothing is left for me to do. It’s trusting Him that He finished it.
It’s actually selfish of me not to receive it. We have gotten these two terms so grossly misinterpreted through the worlds standards that it’s time we seek Daddy for the real definition in our own lives. Would you ask Him right now what it looks like to be humble before Him? I bet His answer will surprise you and don’t negate it if you see yourself simply sitting on a couch receiving.