I struggle. I struggle with anxiety, I struggle with depression, and I struggle with feelings of not being enough for me, for my husband, for my kids, for those around me. I think it’s important to be honest, to show others that God uses us right where we are. I’m the perfect example of that. We don’t have to be perfect or have it all together to be used by God.
I also know these are lies, that this is not Papa’s best for me. It’s hard to share my feelings with others sometimes because the liar likes to tell me that sharing them makes me a burden to those around me, that no one likes a Debbie Downer and sharing them will make those closest to me pull away, that I’ll scare them off because they will be sick of me still struggling with these same things.
You see I serve an amazing Papa who has provided his Zoe life for me, his perfect life, life that isn’t meant to be defined by struggle. Yet, here I am struggling. In my timeline I should be over this already, it should no longer be an issue, I should be healed, but I’m not. Many years I tried to get myself out of it by my own doing, it would work for a short time but not permanently. I was never enough to do it on my own, and I felt like a total failure. But I wasn’t, do you know why? Because we were never meant to save ourselves, that is Papa’s job.
Even now when I‘m still sitting in this junk that I hate because I know it is robbing me of His life, I am trusting him to get me out of it. I am trusting His timing on this matter. I am resting in His promise that He will bring forth His fruit in my life, that is where my hope lies, in Him alone. He is my hope.
So I reach out, I am real, and vulnerable, and raw, and I ask for help, I ask for prayer and I trust God that he has brought the right people around me in this moment that are for me, that will support me, and that will love me right where I am, without conditions.
Whatever your struggle is, I encourage you to trust in Papa, to wait on his timing, and to put your Hope in Him alone.
Psalm 62:5 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.
Psalm 130:5 I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.